People Search Hookups

When women search for hookups with men, they may end up going home with the man whose smell is most appealing to them. And it’s not just expensive cologne I’m talking about.

We all have our own ‘odor print’ – just like we have finger prints. Odor prints are part of a region of genes referred to as the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). Women are more likely to choose men with an MHC scent that is different from their own. In fact, they can basically smell genetic compatibility with a dude.

In two bigs studies run by Dr. Rachel Herz, an olfactory expert at Brown University, female participants ranked a man’s odor as the most important feature in deciding whether or not they would want to have sex with a man.

So yeah, damn, opposites attract – at least when it comes to smell – and it’s actually Mamma Nature’s way of helping us produce super duper healthy babies. And guess when a woman can smell these genetic codes best? When she’s ovulating.

In these studies that they did, they got a bunch of dudes to wear the same t-shirt for a couple days in a row and then they put the shirts in identical boxes. A bunch of chicks were then asked to smell the shirts and say how sexually attractive they thought the men would be based on smell. The results were that the women were most sexually attracted to men with a MHC dissimilar to their own, while they ranked those with similar MHCs as “brotherly” or “fatherly.

In another study, 56 percent of women said they wouldn’t fuck a dude who smelled like their dad. Um, yeah, thank god.

I really wasn’t sure what to call this post. I don’t even really know if all these random bits of information belong in one article together. Anyways, this post is about writers and philosophers that wrote about love as if they were experts, but were actually total idiots when it came to love and sex in their own lives.

1. Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Russell once wrote an essay entitled “Marriage and Morals.” In it, he acted like a pompous, moral asshole, saying the rise in divorce was leading to the collapse of modern Western civilization. Ha! 40 years after writing this piece of douche-baggery, Russell had divorced three times. Before he married his fourth wife, he wrote, “I do not know what I think now about the subject of marriage. Perhaps easy divorce causes less unhappiness than any other system.”

2. Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

Hello, Anna Karenina! Most crazy awesome intense beautiful sexy romance tragedy novel ever, ever written anywhere, anytime. And Tolstoy wrote you. So, what was his own love life like? Well, after slutting it up quite a bit, searching for hookups all around town, he finally married Sophia Andreevna Behrs. They had a long loving marriage…eventually, but guess what the dude did on their wedding day? No, seriously, guess. Got nothing? Ok, I’ll tell you. He showed her his diaries. Um, needless to say, she was totally bummed out about all the entries about his promiscuity, prostitute visits, venereal disease and homoerotic fantasies. “I don’t think I ever recovered from the shock,” she wrote many years later, recalling that she sobbed throughout the entire wedding ceremony. Sounds like Tolstoy would be the type of dude to have a blog chronicling his online dating adventures should he have existed in our time.

So, lesson to be learned from the private lives of these two masters of love? No one is an expert on love. No one. We all gotta find our own way. It’s one thing to say beautiful shit, and quite another thing to actually live it. Don’t listen to anyone but yourself, don’t even listen to me, or this blog post.

Hi there. This edition of today’s blog post should probably be called “Let’s make fun of stupid online dating news.”

How else should a brilliant blogger like me respond to an adult dating column entitled “Is Your Divorce Facebook’s Fault?” How else!?

So, what would a stupid article like this want to say? How is it Facebook’s fault exactly?

You see, when someone pokes you on Facebook, it could give it away to your spouse that you’re cheating with the poker. Damn those pokes, for they belie real pokes! Lawyers say there’s been an extremely sharp rise in the number of divorce cases in court that use messages, pokes and photos from social networking sites as proof of infidelity.

Furthermore, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, Facebook has been accused of playing a part in 1 in every 5 divorces. That’s actually quite a lot. 1 in every 5. Apparently lots of people search hookups with long lost flames via the site. This is so true. I actually personally know this to be true. After my aunt’s high school boyfriend lost his wife to cancer, he found my aunt on Facebook and wham, bam, two year later, they were married. That makes me sad. Kind of like his wife was one long interlude. Anyhoo,
I think we should all just admit that it ain’t facebook’s fault if your marriage splits up. It’s yours. If you’re a cheating bastard, you’ll find a way to do it, whether it’s at the office, through email or at the post office.

I guess Facebook just makes it easier. Thanks, Facebook.

The freaky findings of a new study on sex in Britain were just released in The Daily Express. The study, which was conducted by The Co-operative Pharmacy, found that 1 in 5 British women said they engaged in unprotected sex because they were under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Damn, girls, get it together! Maybe ye’all shouldn’t drink and sex so much. Maybe you shouldn’t search hookups while taking multiple shots in the bar!

Half of the women said the pill was their preferred method of birth control, while two out of five said they favored condoms. There was also a small number of completely insane men – 1 in 67 to be precise – who said they liked it when the girl took the morning-after pill so they could avoid wearing a condom. Where are these idiots? Because I would like to line them up and slap them in the face. They really want to trust some random girl to go get the morning-after pill? And yeah, um, does anyone consider STIs anymore? Remember those little suckers? Yup, the morning-after pill doesn’t protect against those.

And guess what? Just over 2 percent of the 1800 women survey had taken the morning-after pill three or more times. Of the participants aged 18 to 21, rough 2 percent used it as a regular form of contraception. A REGULAR FORM OF CONTRACEPTION! Fuck me! People are still stupid. I didn’t know this type of sex stupidity still existed. These people should not be having random sex hookups. May the British god or the Queen or somebody help them get brains.

There is one moment in adult dating that always brings me pure joy: the moment when you both discover you are sexual freaks. You had been searching hookups forever, you finally found the girl, you’ve been fucking on a regular basis, and then damn, there’s suddenly this moment when she’s sucking you off, looks up at you and is like: ‘I really want you to cum all over my tits and then massage it all in there with your hands while simultaneously licking my pussy. All the while I am going to tell you that you’re a very, very bad boy. And you’re going to fucking like it.’

And you almost jizz through the roof right then, because you realize you’ve got a freak on your hands. And she has realized you’re a freak too. And the sexual gods are smiling down on you. And the skies open up with dirty opportunities. And there is nothing you two can’t do together.

Kinky women rule my world. I adore them. Sometimes you start screwing a woman, and she seems pretty normal, but then that moment comes when she decides she wants to let her freak flag fly. These are the best kind of kinky women, because they are so kinky they know they need to wait through a few sexual encounters before expressing their kink, so shocking is it in nature.

I’ve had women that were into wild crazy orgies, public fucking, strap-ons and more, that seemed all tame and into missionary for the first fuck or two. Maybe they are secretly testing me out to see if they think I am worth spending their kink on. Who knows? However, I do know that you can encourage a woman’s freakiness by communicating about sex as much as possible. What did she like? What does she like? Tell her what you like, and so on. Start tame, test the boundaries, and you’ll probably discover that almost every woman is into something a bit weird.